Interview With A Nail Fungus

March 22, 2007

Recently I had the “privilege” of speaking to the enemy. It was only a brief and fleeting conversation but hopefully I managed to prise some important information from (we’ll call him Neil Fungi from now onwards, because funnily enough that is his name) him and discover what makes him tick and most importantly what doesn’t.

For what its worth Neil had a slight Mexican accent!

Me. So Neil, I would say I am pleased to you but I in truth I am not. But I appreciate you finding the time to talk to me and possibly give the millions of suffers out there an insight in to what you are really about.

Neil. No problemo

Me. Sorry to be so blunt and to the point, but why do you and your fellow Fungarians find it neccessary to congregate under the toenails and fungernails of us humans?

Neil. Well, its like this…you make it so easy for us. Our ideal home is a nice warm, damp environment - your nails, toenails especially provides us with an excellent place to live.

Me. But why dont you live out in a big field or in a tree or something with other mushroomy fungus type things? What do you mean we make it easy for you….?

Neil. We are not mushrooms, do not ever call me a mushroom again. We have as much in common with mushrooms as you have with donkeys

Me. Okay, okay - but what do you mean we make it easy for you?

Neil. You humans…its as if most of you do not want to get rid of us. You just play at it. It is well known that we do not like acidy things and yet very seldom do you introduce anything like that to us…when you do decide to do something about it you try for a few weeks or even months then give up - you are stupido.

Me. (Opens bottle of Apple Cider) …Drink

Neil. No thanks!

Me. So what you are saying is that if we persevered with a treatment we would have more success with evicting you!

Neil. I have said too much.

Me. What do you hate most, the home remedy type things like vinegar, listerine and acidophilis beer soak - or the oral commercial medicines like lamisil or Sporanox?

Neil. The home remedy we are prepared for - we just know that you will not be in it for the long hall - for how long will you get up each morning and put your feet in a bowl of vinegar. Msot of you give up when you are on the point of victory. Woops said too much again!

Me. What about the commercial tablets?

Neil. These take us by suprise - but we know that these can make you ill us much as us. This gives us strength.

Me. If you were in my shoes what type of remedy, medicine or cure would you employ.

Neil. I have been in your shoes - and you know the answer to this.

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